Church

Pretty much all my friends know that I belong to a church. I never use "attend" because I don't think people should attend church, they should belong. Small words, big difference.

I haven't always felt like I belong, and I know that sometimes people in general don't feel like they would, or could, belong to a church.

I understand that.

I am usually embarrassed to align myself with public Christian figures. All the most famous ones seem to be white, male, and wealthy. They always have capped, extra white teeth and more children than the average. They like to use sports analogies. They are either in prime physical condition or they are a little chubby. A beautiful, supportive, slender, smiley wife is absolutely necessary. Usually blond.

They seem to have an opinion on just about everything, as do I. I admit that. Except they have television shows and book deals and a whole bunch of people who believe everything they say. All the time.

I just don't think anyone can be right all the time. I would like to believe that I am right, all the time. But it occurred to me the other day that I should seek out more opportunities for me to find out I'm wrong. Because I must be wrong sometimes: it's impossible to always be right. Right?

I don't often hear them saying that they don't have the answer for something: they are famous and they are paid because they are supposed to have the answers, for everything.

I don't hear much about how to live more simply, how to seek justice for the oppressed, or why it might be a good idea to take care of the environment. I don't quite understand why environmentalism gets a bad rap in some Christian circles--if we're supposed to believe it's God's creation then shouldn't we be treating it like a precious gift?

Anyway, I know that there are Christian public speakers who believe in justice and simple living and all the rest... they just don't get quoted in the paper as much as people like Jerry Falwell did. It's not as fun as talking about the sexual orientation of teletubbies. And besides, I have to confess that the last time I listened to a famous Christian speaker, except for little sound bites forced upon me in random situations was a long long long time ago. So maybe things have changed and I'm behind the times.

But anyway, I was in church this morning, and there was none of that. I saw a mix of people... ethnicities and backgrounds and ages and beliefs. And each person there was allowed to contribute... not bound by age or gender or background. I saw a baby with several adoring adults gathered round her. She is growing up loved.

I saw Joey playing his banjo with a bunch of great musicians, and being applauded after his solo.

I thought, if nothing else, this place has provided so much encouragement and nurturing and positive role models and support for my kids, and for me.

Not every Sunday is great: sometimes it feels a little sluggish. Sometimes I don't agree with everything the speaker said (and I sleep with him so don't think you have to agree with everything at church to belong). Sometimes I'm in a place where I don't want to think about the spiritual life, or be reminded to make choices that are good. Sometimes I don't want to see people or interact and I wish I could just stay home.

But even then, I go. Because I belong, and I need to belong somewhere.