100 things

1. It's really hard for me to think of the first thing I should say.
2. I have a compost bin. I hate it, but I hate to throw away lots of vegetable matter that I've let rot at the bottom of my fridge more, so I do use it, though only for larger amounts.
3. I love flowers. I think I love gardening. I think I am a bad gardener, meaning I kill as many plants as I keep and some days it looks like more weeds are growing than flowers. Still, I try.
4. I used to hate my bedroom and now I love it and the picture Linda posted doesn't come close to doing it justice.
5. I admire my sisters. I couldn't have better sisters.
6. I think they still spoil me. Sometimes I wonder if it's because I'm the youngest and they still have an inner predilection to spoil me so I try to spoil them back but I don't think I come even close. (Wouldn't you call a bedroom redo spoiling?) But more than that, it's spoiling, but not surprising to me that they would do that. They are "those" kind of people.
7. I like to drink coffee, water and red wine. The occasional tea, or ice-cold milk. Not much else.
8. I'm not vegetarian and I love rare red meat, but vegetarian is my favourite way to cook.
9. My kids are a constant source of wonder to me.
10. I love all my nieces and nephews and would let any of them live with me if they needed to. They are pretty much like my kids to me. They always impress me and cause me to admire them some way, some how.
11. I had a brainwave last week, where I realized that you clean your house because you love yourself and your house, not because you hate it when it is dirty. This was a HUGE mindset change for me. World-view shattering. I realize how lame that sounds.
12. I have a problem with authority that I don't want to deal with.
13. I figure if you can't be honest, don't be anything at all.
14. I try REALLY HARD not to think of myself as fat.
15. The pet store guy told me I was a really good mom for letting my kid have lizards. His mom never let him have lizards when he lived at home. I thought, "they're just really small lizards, and not predatory (except to crickets) what is the problem and how does allowing my son to have a caged quiet animal make me a good mom?
16. I think lizards are pretty ideal pets, actually, since I've gotten to know them. (Except I don't care for all the escaping crickets and worry sometimes that they will breed and we'll need fumigation.)
17. I have one life long, ever-since-we-were-babies friend. I cherish her.
18. She has cancer. And so did my husband, and so does my mother-in-law. Is that a lot of cancer in one life? or is that a pretty normal amount? I suppose any amount is too much, really...
19. I think I'm quite capable but since Rob had cancer and we had two kids, I'm not very ambitious. Mostly I'm good with this. Some days I wonder if I'm reaching my potential.
20. I usually think I'll get there eventually.
21. Maybe tomorrow, or next year, or sometime in the future.
22. I spent 5-8 sleep deprived years when my kids were small. They are amazing little people, but I am glad that they mostly sleep through the night now. I feel a lot better.
23. I have a dear far away friend who has cut off all communication from me for over a year. I wonder why but I think I understand. I've done the same thing to a few far away friends. Sometimes it feels all too hard to explain.
24. My closest friends all seem to have experienced tragedy.
25. I have no idea if the poetry I occasionally write is good or bad or apalling by any standard, because I rarely let it out, and it's on little scraps of paper all over the place that usually get lost.
26. My favourite verse in the bible is "You will know the truth and the truth will set you free," followed closely by "the only thing that counts is faith expressing itself through love."
27. My husband has a pure heart, believes the best about people, and is not cynical or sarcastic. I believe that I would be more like Christ if I were more like him.
28. Though I do provide quite a bit of the fun/party stuff in our lives...
29. My favourite article of clothing that I own is a pure shetland wool shawl purchased at Salvation Army for $2.00. I could lose every other item and replace it easily and without a thought. That shawl is a part of me.
30. We live in community. I like that, even with the extra challenges it provides sometimes. I think the blessings outweigh the challenges.
31. I love to write.
32. I love to be with people.
33. These two things feel almost directly at odds with each other.
34. I love cheechas--a little known, no fat, fluffy potato thing with lots of sodium that replaces the chip longings I have sometimes.
35. On a recent car trip, we asked our kids what they would do the same as us when they were parents and what they would do differently. I recommend this question for the interesting discussions it generates.
36. I love being up late at night when everyone is sleeping but I pay for it the following morning.
37. For the first time in my life I am trying to make my bed every morning. I have succeeded since I started trying. It might also help that my bedroom is more attractive than it used to be.
38. I rack up lots and lots of library fines and then feel really guilty and try to avoid the library people until I can bear it no longer and then I go and have to lay down way more cash than I would have had to if I had just dealt with it in the first place.
39. I need to go to the library today because I have fines not only on my card, but on Rob's as well.
40. Every time I do this I resolve to never do it again.
41. I like to write letters but I am bad at stamps and mailing, so every so often I find a letter stashed somewhere that I wrote years ago. I never know whether I should open it and read it, mail it, or just throw it away.
42. I tend to cook really healthy and non-processed, but I love candy. So I can be pretty hypocritical in this regard... I'll have a lentil burger washed down with a bag of fuzzy peaches.
43. My kids know that if they can make me laugh, they probably won't get in trouble for being insolent.
44. I love lots of colours and could never pick just one as a favourite.
45. A long hot bath cures many ills.
46. I love to read.
47. I'd love to write a novel. I'm afraid to write a novel.
48. I hate television commercials and I hate the way I am when I watch TV (obnoxious and critical) so I don't watch... maybe an hour a month, but no more.
49. I love crosswords. I feel smart if I can finish the Saturday crossword.
50. Wow, only half way.
51. I love hearing my kids play their intruments--it's the best music in the world.
52. I admire honesty and integrity more than many other qualities.
53. And a good sense of humour.
54. I hate the whole two-faced thing.
55. I never thought I was a writer because I never feel like I NEED to write.
56. It just occurred to me that I write when I NEED to.
57. I have a horrible sense of direction.
58. I hate typing in the link things on a blog.
59. My oldest son was a bad sleeper as a baby. He is still a bad sleeper.
60. I'm going to quit at sixty or I will never publish this thing.
61. Maybe I could do a few more.
62. We have seasons tickets to the upcoming MTC season. Hooray.
63. I have taken AT LEAST 15 bag fulls of stuff the Salvation Army in the past month. I feels great.
64. I hope to have my decluttering project finished by Christmas. Don't give me STUFF!!
65. I would like to be a potter.
66. Or a watercolour painter.
67. Or a decorative welder.
68. I miss CBC when the unionized workers are locked out. I think I will write Paul Martin about this and tell him to get off his butt and fix this labour dispute. GIVE THEM WHAT THEY WANT!!
69. I use too many !!! and.....
70. They come in handy...
71. I will never be pregnant again. That is good. I think I'm a pretty good mom but a VERY bad pregnant woman.
72. I want to stay in Winnipeg next summer.
73. I would also like to be a stand up comedian.
74. Good thing I'm reading this over. I've had to edit a few times because I keep saying the same things. But since I started this over 2 weeks ago, I'm entitled to forget a sentence or two. So if you notice doubles, that's why..
75. I have made my bed every morning for three weeks. This is a record in my life.
76. Maybe I could learn to knit, too!
77. Part of me hates having a Christmas tree in the house--it's so big and cluttery.
78. I'm not a total grinch--part of me loves it.
79. I HATE taking it down and dragging it out of the house and finding needles everywhere.
80. I like Walt Disney World.
81. This is a true confessions thing, right?
82. I like the colour of my hair.
83. I've mailed three personal notes in the past two weeks. That is more than I have mailed in years.
84. I like reading cookbooks before bed. A friend once told me that that was pathetic.
85. Another job I would like is reading stories on CBC.
86. I am relieved that both my kids like to read. That was one major goal I had as a parent--that we would raise readers.
87. Too bad about the sleeping, though.
88. Okay, only 12 more. I should be able to do this.
89. I love the Prairie Dog Express.
90. I love the Folk Fest.
91. I love having a camp fire in my backyard. Only 2 fireman visits in 10 years. Not bad.
92. Our neighbour smokes a lot of pot. I would have never thought that I would end up in a neighbourhood like mine, except I'm so happy that I did. Except for the Harleys at 2 am. I love rainy Friday nights because then they leave their harleys at home..
93. Someone made fun of me recently because I believe that God speaks to me. At first I felt foolish and stupid, and then I thought, but I really do believe that God speaks to me... and I won't make fun of you if you don't, so just humour me...
94. I love cooking.
95. I wish for more money mostly when I want to buy gifts for people.
96. I love to have people over.
97. I like talking to people who think and believe differently than I do. I love trying to understand.
98. I HATE those cell phone things people wear on the side of their heads. I want to slug people when I see them.
99. Today my son told me that I'm "good at swearing." How in the hell am I supposed to take that?!
100. Hah! I can't believe it. Done. 100. Finally.